Wednesday 23 September 2009

ADCC Barcelona 26th & 27th September

ADCC Barcelona

ADCC this weekend and probably the most stacked tourney so far, only really Romalo Barral & Roger Gracie missing from the world's best.

Follow the link & make your picks, see if you agree.

Men’s -67.9 kg Having to make 2 choices as I just can’t split Cobrinha and Mendes
Men’s -76.9kg Marcelo
Men’s -87.9kg Braulio
Men’s -98.9kg Xande
Men’s +99kg 'Cyborg'
Men's absolute tbc

Superfight Drysdale

Women’s -60kg Megumi Fuji
Women’s +60kg Penny Thomas
Women's absolute Lana Stefanac

Mainly obvious choices but a couple of outsiders.

Going to be an awesome tournament.

Check out the fighters on the web site, some great coverage of them on there.

New belts @ Combat Base Sept 2009

Congrats to 4 very well deserved new belts at our gym.

Ian “Mongoose” Jones promoted to purple belt
Wayne Murrie promoted to blue belt
Gaz Vause promoted to blue belt
Paul Keegans promoted to blue belt.

Disorder in the American Courts

Things people actually said in USA courts, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.



ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
....................................................

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
...................................................

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
....................................................

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
....................................................

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
....................................................

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid.
....................................................

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
...................................................

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
...................................................

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
....................................................

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
....................................................

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
...................................................

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
...................................................

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
....................................................

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
....................................................

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

MENSA Test

As you will never be as handsome as me, see if you are as smart as me. Finish the 5 questions below in 10 minutes or less.


1. Which 3-letter word can you add to the words below to make 4 new words?
  • Doctor
  • Alien
  • Carbon
  • Fabric


2. Find the number.
  • RM = 5
  • XK = 13
  • JC = 7
  • SP = ?


3. What do the following words have in common?
  • Yarn
  • Hurt
  • Lone
  • Army


4. What is the missing number?
3 7 13 27 53 ? 213



5. Ben has 4 dogs, 8 hamsters and 7 rabbits. How many horses do he have?

Wednesday 9 September 2009

USA 2009

Its been a couple of years since my good lady and I trained in the USA what with one thing and another so to say we were excited about going to train at Chris Haueter's new school in San Pedro was an understatement. Especially for the open mat whic has loads of people turn up to train.

Friday morning was no exception, over 20 guys mainly black belts, browns and purples turn up at 10:00am for the open mat. Yes, 10:00 on a Friday morning attracts over 20 quality guys. I have seen less than that at seminars, doesn't anyone have to work!!

Knowing it was going to be a tough session we had to be in shape so took some time to go to Venice "Muscle" Beach to get in some good training. Seeing a HUGE ripped guy that couldn't lift any of the big weights deterred me from the weights area and onto the gymnastics section instead. I was never that good at chemistry anyway.










Now we were pumped it was time for the open mat. It was already over 90 degrees F by 10:00am which is pleasant to sit in but horrendous to train in especially for Helen being a Scot, a few generations ago they were running around barefoot in the Highlands.

I had tried to warn her of the oppressive heat after my trip to Johannesburg when they opened the gym windows and it actually got warmer, at least San Pedro is a little, and I mean little, bit cooler than Jozi.

The level of the guys there was awesome, yet everyone still had time for everyone else, a true laboratory for learning, everyone bringing something different to the table. Guess I'm just not used to training with a room full of black and brown belts.

Helen was especially impressed that all the people there actually rolled with her instead of trying to overpower and outstrength her just to tap out a black belt, that they understood the concept of TRAINING. What victory is there in a 200lb guy outstrengthing a 110lb woman just to get a submission? Or just ragging something on for the same reason. If you can't do something against someone your own size, don't do it. She doesn't always get that luxury over here.

You know who you are so stop it!!

So 2 1/2 hours and 3 litres of water later, the session ended, we managed to exchange details with new friends who are hoping to make a visit to the UK as well as catching up with old ones. Had not seen Chance Wanlass since 1999 when he visited the UK as a purple belt but he informed me that California tradition dictates that Haueter should buy me a steak as he had just given me my new belt. I decide to find the nearest eating establishment to see if this tradition is true, it's not :0(

Refuelled and rehydrated we jump into the Combat Base-mobile and head out to Redondo Beach again, the scene of some ridiculous cardio training, for some body boarding and general down time. Never was a beautiful place more brutal, Haueter says he does the cardio training for all his tournaments right here, it's amazing what you can do with a slope, a bunch of steps and a lot of sand.

Goes without saying that we had an awesome time training with everyone and can't wait to get back.

Might put all training fees up to raise some trip money!